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The Big Wide World

I’m officially coming to the end of the final year of my university education, and therefore, my life in education. Help.

All of my housemates have spent the past year applying for graduate jobs and travelling around the country to interviews and assessment centres, or applying for masters and further education. As a person who was finished with education before I began at university, further education is, for me, the worst idea in the world. As a person who is doing below average on my course, spending what little free time I have applying for jobs is just as bad.

So I haven’t. And I’m ok with that. Or I was up until the last of my housemates was offered her first choice in masters at the University of Exeter.

And then there was me.

I have gone through school, sixth form and university telling people “I just don’t know what I want to do”, and everyone telling me ‘Jess that’s ok you have plenty of time!’ and I have lived off that mantra and happily floated by for years. Now it has come to the stage where there actually isn’t very much time anymore, and I actually really need to start making a decision about the rest of my life.

But I’m not ready. I’m still a lost little teenager in my mind. The fact that I am about to graduate, enter the real world, and so take every possible responsibility on my head, is actually so much more daunting than it sounds.

And so my plan of action is this… I will continue as I have. I will go back home and back to my job behind a bar. I will work on job applications and gaining work experience where I can, and I will go from there. This will be my first time out of education since I was 4, it’s time for me to have some time out.

As my girls Destiny’s Child once said, I’m a survivor. There is something big and magical for me out there, but for now, I’m taking a breather.

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